Hong Kong Market is a grocery store on the eastern edge of Columbia, on the outer road of I-70. They used to be in a cramped barn (yes, an actual barn) but a few years ago they moved to a new building next door. The place has a lot of good stuff for people who like Asian food, including food and cooking implements. I usually pick up some canned vegetarian fake meat when I shop there. On my last trip I also bought several bags of dumplings to steam in my rice cooker. While I was browsing the sauces that would go with them, I noticed that the food distribution companies that handle these products have interesting brand names and logos.
Three Crabs brand looks exactly like the name implies: three crabs arranged in a triforce of crustaceans. Golden Boy Brand’s logo has a boy, holding a bottle of his own sauce. My friend Sharon pointed out that his “thumbs up” gesture is offensive in the company’s home country of Thailand, so I’m not sure what is going on there. It’s possible that in Thailand, it’s Up Yours Brand.
Three Crabs and Golden Boy Brands of Fish Sauce. Image from Cooking with Kathy Man
The company with the craziest name, however, has to be Flying Horse on Earth Brand. As if the name isn’t weird enough, take a look at the logo:
Look at it. Look.
It’s literally a horse with wings, with his hooves landing on a tiny Earth (or is the horse planet sized?).
All these wacky names and logos made me want to have my own Asian food distribution company with a crazy name. I brainstormed some with Kristin and I made mockups of two of my favorite brand names. The first is Jade Hobo Brand:
Jade Hobo Brand Sauce
The part of the brand name that generates interest is the juxtaposition between the hobo’s destitution and the fact that he is made up of a valuable mineral. The other choice is UFOs Shooting Carrots at Tigers Brand Sauce:
UFOs Shooting Carrots at Tigers Brand Sauce
This one has a little more pizazz, almost futuristic and strangely somehow both anti-animal and pro-vegetarian. Be glad to know that if grad school doesn’t work out (possibly because I’m spending my time photoshopping clipart onto a bottle of oyster sauce), look for either of these brands at your local Asian market.